How to Deal with Unexpected Loss -- 3 Rules

29-Sen, 2020
112 664 Ko‘rishlar soni

Before I flew down to LA to take care of my mom’s estate, I got some advice from a friend who lost both parents unexpectedly earlier this year. I tried it...and it worked.
#ADHD #grief #dog

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Music for “The 3 Rules of Grief - and what my doctor said about Chloe:”
“The Show Must Be Go”, “Carefree”, “Life of Riley”, “Bittersweet”
Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

  • It doesn't matter that some people may need a support dog more than you - it matters that you need a support dog. Sometimes it really is your needs that matter most you know? Take care of you right now.

    AdeAde21 kun oldin
    • I am so sorry things have piled up on you like this. I am so sorry your mother died, and they are messing with your helper dog. Just take it a step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a bit of patience, love and rest.

      Kathy SemrauKathy Semrau17 kun oldin
    • This is some of the best advice I have ever heard! you need to look after yourself first and others later. My Condolences to you and your family. You got this, and will get through this!

      Ashley HathawayAshley Hathaway20 kun oldin
    • Elien 1 Well said! This whole comment/reply chain is great!

      TurtleTurtle21 kun oldin
    • I read a sentence in another UZworld comment that applies really well here. It was something like, "Just because somebody's house burned down doesn't mean your wrist isn't sprained." And I think that's a really important thing to keep in mind. Everybody has their own problems; just because yours seem "less than" somehow doesn't mean they're not there, and it certainly doesn't mean you shouldn't use the resources available to you.

      CatBatRatCatBatRat21 kun oldin
    • Reminds me of the "put your oxygen mask on before helping others" safety announcement on planes-sometimes you need to help yourself with what you're going through before you can help other people with what they're going through.

      nameHere_nameHere_21 kun oldin
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother a few months ago (not COVID-related). Thank you so much for sharing. It is so helpful to see how someone else is experiencing loss during this time.

    Bluebird824Bluebird824Daqiqa oldin
  • UGGGHH I lost it when she said she never felt like she had the permission to need support.

    Cecile PhamCecile Pham18 soat oldin
  • This reminds me of when I was in Japan. 2 weeks in I got a call from my parents that my dog was diagnosed with cancer. I told my employers that I'll be gone for two weeks whether they like it or not, and flew back to the UK to see him. The best part of such a distressing situation was I could tell he was just waiting for me. We spent a day playing ball (him sitting on the couch and me just rolling to his mouth because moving was too painful) and I took him on his last walk. He loved it and loved seeing me. But once we got back, I could just tell looking into his eyes that he was done and happy to move on now that has seen me for the last time. I carried him to the vet and had him put down as I held him in my arms. As a typical ADHD'r, processing or even showing emotions is difficult. But in that particular moment, I've never sobbed so hard in front of anyone before. A few months later back in Japan I remember going to an employee training session and there was this really obnoxious guy there who would always have sly digs/remarks about the company and the trainers. I later learnt he was in the same position as me with my dog, but with him it was his grandmother. He allowed the company to convince him to not go and his grandmother passed without seeing him again. Things like that make me really grateful for my ADHD.

    ADHD AdaptADHD Adapt23 soat oldin
  • Grief is the reflection of love

    11Kun oldin
  • Being an orphan in this world, even if you haven't had a great relationship with your parents, is such a weird feeling 😔

    11Kun oldin
  • I cried. A lot. Sharing your journey seems like it’s helping me move past a swallow it down block that was masquerading as being “good”. Still more recovery journey on the loss I’ve experienced. Thank you.

    Drew StevensonDrew Stevenson2 kun oldin
  • Other people needing support more does not actually alter the depth of your needs.

    Drew StevensonDrew Stevenson2 kun oldin
  • So sorry for your unexpected loss Jess. It also saddens me to see the negative impact of extended lockdowns... People should have the right to choose to safely assemble and mourn... Thank goodness successful treatments are becoming more available, a vaccine is on the horizon and the American people have stepped up to manufacture, research, treat, test, and fight back against this virus. ❤️

    Jamie RitcheyJamie Ritchey2 kun oldin
  • Im so sorry for your loss...... if you need help training you dog as a service dog (i have 3) i would be happy to help you....

    Tayler McNealTayler McNeal2 kun oldin
  • ❤ sending love ❤

    Zaid MZaid M2 kun oldin
  • thank you so much coz im a kid and i have adhd

    Donna HallDonna Hall2 kun oldin
  • This helped me when i lost both my parents last year. Your greatest is yet to come. A Prince cannot become the King of the Kingdom without the death of his father : Death of a Parent: Transition to a New Adult Identity

    Marticus MayhemMarticus Mayhem5 kun oldin
  • Howdy, I actually needed to say that I really liked your content 😃 This is my friends channel, please listen to his music and watch his videos, after that You can decide whether You'll subscribe or not, he really deserve it:

    Adnan ŠahinpašićAdnan Šahinpašić5 kun oldin
  • So sorry to hear of the sudden death of your mum. I’m sure it must be so difficult to process your feelings. You are so brave discussing your loss on your vlog. Chloe looks adorable & I hope she is successful as an emotional support dog. I would just like to send a huge thank you from Leeds in the UK. I am the dad of a young teenager with relatively newly diagnosed ADHA and your channel is very helpful. Make sure you look after yourself and give yourself time and space to do so while you are grieving

    Ian StinsonIan Stinson5 kun oldin
  • ❤️❤️❤️

    Leisure IslandLeisure Island5 kun oldin
  • It's awesome that you're training her yourself. Service dogs can make such a huge difference even with relatively small things. I'm hoping to take a course to learn how to be a dog trainer. I'd love to be able to train, service dogs for people. My first guide dog as well as my current guide have both been a great help, not only for the job tbey've been trained to do but also helping my depression and anxiety. So I know first hand how important service dogs are and would love to give back, so to speak. You live in Seattle? Dude, I live just across the state from you. I live just outside of Spokane. Anyway, my condolences and thank you for taking us with you on your journey through this difficult time. It's important for people to see the hard times as well as the good ones. My fiance, Nova, just switched doctors Recently, so we're hoping we can get her formally diagnosed, which would be a relief. Not only so we can work on a complete treatment plan, but piece of mind for Nova. Any way.... Sorry for the rambling. 😆

    Nicolas BurtonNicolas Burton6 kun oldin
  • I understand your struggle Jess stay safe with love!

    Denise FlatteryDenise Flattery6 kun oldin
  • I lost my dad unexpectedly when I was 19. It was a decade ago, but I vividly remember the shock and denial that took over for what felt like years. It was a nightmare. That pain will never go away, but you’ll get stronger. The little daily reminders will no longer stab you in the heart like they had. It’ll be more like a pinch from a good friend telling a joke. The best advice I can give is to cling onto every single little good thing in your days & in your life. 🖤 Sending you so much love. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart and soul. You helped ensure me as a woman that had been miserably masking for so long, gave me the courage to finally get treatment for my adhd. To be strong doesn’t mean you’re never feeling weak. It’s okay to not be okay. Please lean on us when you need...after all, that’s what a village is. I’m so happy to be a part of the “Villiage of Brains.”

    CaseyCasey6 kun oldin
  • I don't know how i found you but i just lost my mom suddenly also and every word you say about how she was or taught you is the same as my mom. she was my best friend and we talked numerous times a day. i to have to sell her home but cant find the courage to go throw things out and dismantle my entire life born and raised there. my sister died when i was 12 so some of her stuff is there. also my dad ended up with stage 4 stomach cancer only a few months after she passed away and he has passed away as well. i thought i would have time to deal with her stuff but now i have to do it all and am freaking out. no good friends to call on that haven't tried using me or taken advantage of my kindness in some way. im a single mom of a 12 year old. you cant imagine what this feels like. why not top it all off... my 29 year old sister died a year exactly before my mom also so i am just strickened by tons of losses. you gave me good advice. hope to talk to you some day maybe. be safe and stay healthy!

    Selina Castillo AkermanSelina Castillo Akerman7 kun oldin
  • I just lost my dog that’s been with me since I was six. I’m 22. I felt like I’d lost my sister and I keep going to the pet store and thinking about the treats she would like our expecting her to come running to the door when I come home. I can’t imagine how much worse my grief would be if I hadn’t found a kitten to get me through it. Emotional support animals don’t just make you happy. They force you to think about someone other than yourself and they force you to get out of bed. Half the time I wouldn’t eat if I didn’t need to feed JJ.

    Normal'sWayOverratedNormal'sWayOverrated7 kun oldin
  • Jessica, love does not die it is eternal. May the memory of your mother and father continue, to provide you support thoughout the days of your life.

    Christine TurnerChristine Turner7 kun oldin
  • Hugs its hard I lost my dad in 2018 and it still is hard and I almost completely lost that whole year after to my dissociative and ptsd not even counting in my ADD... my service dog has been my godsend he keeps me safe and he helps me to calm down its a long road but honestly my dad is still with me even though he’s not here physically anymore this year ive found a great therapist who has worked with DID and trauma and ADD... i did something that to me is terrifying and brings up horrible memories i had bloodwork done and i got through by remembering what my dad always did and how he never laughed or made my fear seem trivial he did research on why i had this extreme fear and he is still my rock i have my memories of him and yea at times i just want him and his hugs that made the world slow down but I’m learning thats normal and i will grieve in my own time

    Steffie GirlSteffie Girl7 kun oldin
  • Nice sword 🗡

    shadowdance4666shadowdance46667 kun oldin
  • Jessica, I am very sorry for your loss, and in awe of your bravery sharing it and your journey. The value your work and your honesty and your sincere gift of yourself cannot be measured. I wish I knew those rules so explicitly when I needed them so many years ago. I ended up formulating something like them on my own. Go gently, please, and keep those rules, and Chloe, close to your heart.

    Seth TyrisSeth Tyris7 kun oldin
  • W

    CJ’s House of Comedy and FreestyleCJ’s House of Comedy and Freestyle7 kun oldin
  • I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your parents. I lost my own my mother about 8 years ago and my father died very suddenly 35 years ago. I think it is more difficult to process when they die unexpectedly. Although it is emotionally draining in any case. Healing takes time. Your videos are amazing! Thank you and take care of yourself.

    Laura LanoueLaura Lanoue7 kun oldin
  • I am sorry for your loss. Like I said, I couldn't imagine the pain you are going through. Thank you for sharing this.

    ADHD LoveADHD Love7 kun oldin
  • I lost my mom unexpectedly in April. She was fine on Tuesday and she passed away on Saturday.. Every emotion and experience you have described, I have or am still going through. Just know that whatever your journey for grieving is, is normal. there is no normal for grief. there is no time frame.. so just allow yourself to feel those feelings. it helps. God Bless and I am here for you.

    Amy EganAmy Egan8 kun oldin
  • I’m living through grief, my dear Shitzu Lola passed over last Saturday evening at 17, my long time partner passed away April 7, I’m so sorry about your beautiful Mother’s passing.

    RLS NortonRLS Norton8 kun oldin
  • I'm really sorry about the loss of your dear mother. I am praying and weeping for you. Thank you for being so open and honest.

    Salem ThorupSalem Thorup8 kun oldin
  • Sorry for your loss. It's not easy, but you will manage.

    Ben KlassenBen Klassen8 kun oldin
  • Just had an unexpected loss as well, sorry to hear Jessica. :( no idea how to cope

    Maddiee KMaddiee K8 kun oldin
  • im sorry for your loss.

    Che Duarte-SolivioChe Duarte-Solivio8 kun oldin
  • Why am I'm crying 😩😩😭😭

    The BOSS familyThe BOSS family9 kun oldin
  • You are obviously not understanding, just how MUCH, that your videos and you sharing, is SO HELPFUL. My thoughts & prayers are with you through this painfully difficult time. Your parents MADE you who you are - erego; they are always WITH you, & will always continue to be. ❤️ smiles 🤪

    RobinSue16RobinSue169 kun oldin
  • Sorry for your loss. A close family friend died recently and the family held a Zoom commemoration. They had a slide show and some friends relate memories. It was not the same as being able to hug them in person, but it helped give a little closure.

    Tiia JTiia J9 kun oldin
  • Chloe is so sweet omg!

    Combat CupidCombat Cupid9 kun oldin
  • You really die twice: once when they physically die, and again when the last person speaks your name or thinks of you. Keep her memory alive, because your mom sounds like a pretty awesome lady. Sorry for your loss.

    needs|LITHIUMneeds|LITHIUM10 kun oldin
  • I feel your pian i have adhd and asperger syndrom and I lost my grandma 2 weeks a go I would love to give you a hug I been following your story almost everything is what I experience in life i was bullyed Becurs I was sensitive and crying alot Becurs I was different and hard to understand

    Milla PerssonMilla Persson10 kun oldin
  • I would not be able to understand the loss of a parent. And i hope that i wont either atleast for a couple of years or hopefully more to come. But my brother died unecspectantly last year on 26th of december, the first year i ever spent christmas away from my family, but with my boyfriend which i now live with. I have had the hardest battle to forgive myself for not being there, asking myself again and again why why why was i away.. ofc no one would have known that this accident would ever have happen.. The first rule helped me.. I must forgive myself. Also where you went and said that you werent a daughter anymore hit me too.. Because i werent a sister anymore.. But i am and i will always be, even tho he is not walking on this planet anymore. Thank you for this video and im so terribly sorry for your loss. (Btw, english is not my first language so please excuse my grammar)

    Linnea HøviskelandLinnea Høviskeland10 kun oldin
  • The validation of a doctor confirming you do need help cannot be overstated. It is life changing emotionally.

    AnnikaAnnika10 kun oldin
  • How can I contact you? And also, can I please contact you? I want to write you a letter.

    Chad HigginsChad Higgins11 kun oldin
  • Yaaaay! So happy that your doctor wrote you that letter. Wonderful! And you're so right - you asking for help and support that you need, doesn't take it away from other people who also need it. It's not a pie that you're taking an extra slice of. I think I internalise a lot of similar things tho.

    Jane HakansonJane Hakanson11 kun oldin
  • Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey, Jessica.

    Kate BarrettKate Barrett11 kun oldin
  • I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for making this video, though. I lost my dream job earlier this year because of COVID-19, which was absolutely crushing for me, and then just a couple weeks ago my house burned down and three of my cats, who I loved like my own babies, died in the fire. It's been so difficult for me to process everything... Just thank you so much for this. You're a wonderful person.

    Hannah ProseHannah Prose11 kun oldin
  • I think one thing that ADHD does to us through the time, is making us feel like we don't deserve to suffer the way we do. It destroys our self esteem. I think you're an amazing person, and not only you DO deserve everything needed to make you feel better, but you do so so so so much for others, nobody should ever make you feel like what you feel and go through is not important enough. Thank you Jessica, seriously, I wish you could feel what we feel about you, and I wish you would never feel like others' needs are more important than yours. I always feel the same as you do, and writing this makes me a bit of a hypocrite, but what I'm saying is sincere, take care ❤️

    PeachyMothPeachyMoth11 kun oldin
  • Bless you!

    Socially DistantSocially Distant11 kun oldin
  • Your feelings and needs are absolutely valid, even if they don't look like or are as severe as anyone else's.

    Erica FolangeErica Folange11 kun oldin
  • You are so incredibly strong and inspiring with your openness. So sorry for your losses. Sending hugs.

    dkb333dkb33311 kun oldin
  • Watching your videos makes me feel extremely validated. I hope you know that you give people that same feeling your doctor gave you.

    Tallulah van der MadeTallulah van der Made11 kun oldin
  • you are so beautiful girl

    accidental archivesaccidental archives12 kun oldin
  • And you decided to have this be an add?

    God Emporor of Florida Rick ScottGod Emporor of Florida Rick Scott12 kun oldin
  • Lol she paid money to make this in to an ad

    Moe ZMoe Z12 kun oldin
  • Chloe is a beautiful dog, and so caring.

    Brother BruceBrother Bruce12 kun oldin
  • I'm watching this and thinking about my dad. Thanks

    Brother BruceBrother Bruce12 kun oldin
  • 8:30 I really felt that. When you have ADHD your pain is invisible to other people, and you feel forced to endure it in silence. Then when someone actually acknowledges your struggle you just break into a million pieces...

    La caja de PandoraLa caja de Pandora12 kun oldin
  • Watching your video and crying my eyes out, even tho you are not anyones daughter anymore . You are my friend even tho you dont know me. You mom is always with you, now she is going to help you 10 times more from wherever she is. Do not stop with your channel

    Tina LuckTina Luck12 kun oldin
  • Jessica you are incredible. I am so glad that you are getting the support you need and that the doctor has given you the note to have Chloe as an emotional support animal. We're here for you, we're crying with you. We love you Jessica! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    MillerMrs0803MillerMrs080312 kun oldin
  • I never knew there were service dogs for ADHD.

    P V hP V h12 kun oldin
  • oh my grandma died this year (like a few months ago) and I remember I didn't even cry (i couldn't cry, Idk why, I don't think its adhd) I don't know if I even felt sad, but she was gone, so even if this isn't exactly on time, this could seriously help, thank you

    SammySammy12 kun oldin
    • Could definitely be a form of shock. Didn’t hit me either until a week later

      macey jomacey jo12 kun oldin
  • When you said that you felt like you didn’t deserve that support and your needs weren’t that important, i really felt that. I’ve always felt like that too with my adhd and anxiety symptoms. Many people have been very invalidating about my problems because on the outside i’m ”high functioning”. Now I finally got the courage and the energy to contact health care and start adhd diagnosing process. Your videos are so helpful for us brains. I’m so glad that you have Chloe for support! Sending you lots of love from Scandinavia❤️

    Ketku KettunenKetku Kettunen12 kun oldin
  • I love your show and I know how grief affects ADHD I have ADHD in myself and my brother died

    Brad WillowsBrad Willows12 kun oldin
  • Im so sorry for your loss and your probably hurt but... Why is this in my recommended?...

    Bidoof JesusBidoof Jesus12 kun oldin
  • Wow so sorry, yeah my Cat died and I kinda know what you are going through.. Beef Kitty was my best friend, he was a feral cat ! He chose me, don't know if I tamed Beef or he made me more Wild. It breakers my heart still..

    Scarecrow channelScarecrow channel13 kun oldin
  • People didn't die because "things weren't handled well in the U.S." We were lied to about this Wuhan virus by China AND the WHO. This is something nobody was prepared for. Korea and some other nations have dealt with MERS and SARS before so they had a little experience. I also lost my Mom, to Covid thanks to the idiocy of Andrew Cuomo. There's been no funeral or anything either. I'm feeling the same things you are. I am sorry for your loss, and thank you so much for your videos. 💞

    BMBM13 kun oldin
  • 🙏♥️🧠

    GMLGML13 kun oldin
  • I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing something so vulnerable and important. 💚

    artistsComplexartistsComplex13 kun oldin
  • Unfortunately, I could only get about 6 minutes into this before I had to stop. My mum died 4.5 years ago and when you were on the phone talking about how you're no longer a daughter, it hit me really hard. But I had to come to the comments and say this, that even after 4.5 years, it's still okay to break down and cry or feel like you did when the person you loved just passed. Over time, and with help, it becomes less frequent, but it's not a bad thing if you get that overwhelming feeling of grief. The greatest advice I received was that grief is not something that goes away, it becomes less frequent and manageable. It's okay to not be okay

    Hi.Im.Bi.Hi.Im.Bi.13 kun oldin
  • My mom passed away in December 2019. And I also have ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder w panic attacks. thank you for making these videos about your journey. It helps a lot. I hope to see more of your healing journey as I go through mine. You’re doing a great thing, you deserve to heal and thrive.

    Isabel PosnerIsabel Posner13 kun oldin
  • Why was this an ad?

    DezaDeza13 kun oldin
  • I felt that same way when my pet dog Tacos died. May she rest in peace, she made me the happiest pet owner I ever was.

    Lockstep ChrisLockstep Chris13 kun oldin
  • The validation is so powerful. Just like your friend said. Take the time you need, even in training/getting training for Chloe. Dogs have an innate sense of what we need when we need it. My sweet Olivia is the same way. Adopted a few months after her big sister had to suddenly be put down for liver failure. My sweet girl was waiting for me in a shelter. I kept her name because it means “to bring peace” and that’s exactly what she does. The thing I’ve learned the most about grief is that it will hit and knock the wind out of you without notice. Let those emotions flow. Don’t fight them. You are amazing and things won’t be the same, but you’ll find some resemblance of normalcy. On the off days, take some time to just... be. ♥️ We love you Jessica. We’re here for you.

    Christine FrakerChristine Fraker13 kun oldin
  • Last year I learned I have adhd. Since then, I’ve been touched by your videos and they have helped me to accept myself and to explaining to my husband what it’s like having adhd and why I am the way I am. I too lost my father. Not yet my mother. Grief is messy in so many ways. I had no clue you were so close I live near Seattle. Just makes me feel even that much more connected. Thank you for being your authentic you. Sending my love and support

    R FR F13 kun oldin
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my mom a year ago and it was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I'm not one to give advice, but take care of yourself and don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long to do it for.

    Danielle HollerDanielle Holler13 kun oldin
  • We’re both going through grief together. I love these rules

    Giselle OttoGiselle Otto13 kun oldin
  • Thank you for sharing this with us - it’s a lot to even be able to talk about these feelings alone.

    Cat GossonCat Gosson13 kun oldin
  • Thank you for sharing this story. While watching the ending it occurred to me that imposter syndrome, that many of us with ADHD have, also affects our own expectations of what medical care we feel we "deserve." In the Freudian sense, our Ego is imbalanced towards the Super Ego. Instead, we take an altruistic approach and rationalize that there are other people more deserving, but it's also safe to ask ourselves, "Does my wellbeing directly affect those more deserving and how?"

    SGaffinSGaffin13 kun oldin
  • You are important and what you need is important

    Laressa AlkmimLaressa Alkmim14 kun oldin
  • Its so inspiring to see you trying to stay strong through everything your going through, Im here to support you too! keep sharing!

    Dylan PosnerDylan Posner14 kun oldin
  • I really wish I had a doctor that cared like that.

    Amy LynnAmy Lynn14 kun oldin
  • I needed to see this...

    Amy LynnAmy Lynn14 kun oldin
  • Omg was it because of covid? I saw a "coronavirus seal" sticker on her door. God that's morbid and so tragic I'm sorry :(

    Franz PattisonFranz Pattison14 kun oldin
  • Sounds like you're speaking of my life and it makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not suffering alone

    Teri GwynTeri Gwyn14 kun oldin
  • ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Teri GwynTeri Gwyn14 kun oldin
  • I love your videos so much. My life is so similar and you have given me hope during some dark days. I'm so appreciative of your sharing and I am so very sorry sweetheart for your loss. I miss my mom so much and my 2 dogs have saved my life. XOXO

    Teri GwynTeri Gwyn14 kun oldin
  • Why was this an ad on my recommended ?

    Milky KookiesMilky Kookies14 kun oldin
  • One day at a time girl , in your own pace. Ill be praying for you . - your new friend from Puerto Rico

    Beatriz SabatBeatriz Sabat14 kun oldin
  • I'm sorry for your loss 😔 💗

    N CN C14 kun oldin
  • Please share if you find a good trainer in the Seattle area; I'm up here too, and am now recommitted to training my own dog to be a service dog.

    MarqMarq14 kun oldin
  • Just hearing you talk about getting permission to get that support makes me feel like maybe I have permission too, and I can't put words to how much that helps. I lost my grandpa (my father figure really) one year ago almost exactly, and then my aunt barely six months later, and the one positive that has come out of that grief so far, is that it has given me permission to cry and to admit that I'm not okay sometimes. I feel like this is the next step in accepting that it's okay to need and to ask for or receive help. Your mom has left you with the ability to continue making things better, because here you are already helping so much. I know I'm stepping into my grandpa's shoes more now that he's gone, and that thought has helped me build a new narrative and with healing; I hope it will be a comfort and help to you as well.

    MarqMarq14 kun oldin
  • I SO RELATE TO THIS - to be validated by a medical professional that we are allowed to need help - wow .

    The Noodle SystemThe Noodle System14 kun oldin
  • 🤧🤧Jessica, I didn't watch right away because I lost my dad and I get it. I understand what you feel. ❤❤sending hugs.

    Marie E.Marie E.14 kun oldin
  • Jess you have no idea how much I needed this. Grief is so hard, and it has consumed me for the last 5 years. October 19, 2015 I lost my boyfriend’s sister. My Pap passed away 3 days later. Since then I have lost someone every year, some years more than 1. One friend in 2016, one in 2017, 3 in 2018 (including my ex boyfriend, my best friend in 2019, and my former art teacher & mentor turned close friend committed suicide this year. Things have been so hard. I spend a lot of time with my dogs. I struggle to fall asleep, but petting them puts me to sleep instantly. I’m so sorry about your loss. Talking about it is so helpful for you and others too. Thank for you being vulnerable with us. Thank you for always making me feel less alone and less strange.

    meganeffmeganeff14 kun oldin
  • I really love hearing about your mom and seeing her beautiful back yard. My mom makes things beautiful too. She gardens and her home is also surrounded by beauty. *Hugs" Your mom sounds amazing.

    Finding a wayFinding a way14 kun oldin
  • Validation about ADHD means the world. From our 4 ADHD brains to yours; sweet daughter. 💗

    sharkwwjdsharkwwjd14 kun oldin
  • May she rest in peace❤️

    Samer El-MurrSamer El-Murr14 kun oldin
  • hey jessica! it's been a while since I wrote a youtube comment. I just wanted to say thanks, because thanks to you I understood something which was a piece of me and that now I can use to understand my own puzzle, because thanks to you my parents and my friends can too understand a little better, because thanks to you I got a little push I don't think I would've ever gotten if you hadn't been here. maybe my life would've been a lot worse if you hadn't been here. so I wanted to say thanks. death is hard. losing someone is unbearable, and it hurts - sometimes sharp sometimes blunt, but it hurts. I am sorry that I cannot promise you things stop hurting. I cannot promise you that you will not have moments of weakness five, maybe ten years from now on where you need everyone around you to hold your crumbling pieces together - let yourself be held tight, in those moments, it's only human to fall. but beyond the falling, you're going to heal some day. maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but I can promise you that you will. whenever I miss someone who isn't in my life anymore I think three good things about them, three things we have shared. I still cry sometimes, but at least there's a smile on my face. I usually try to think of new things, that way I'm not scared of forgetting anything, I'm not scared of letting go. the pain isn't so scary once their memory isn't tied to their "gone-ness" but what we've shared. we're human, and we share paths for a while before letting go because that's just how it is, but haven't we created something beautiful in these steps we walked together? I am sorry that I cannot take away the pain off of you and make it my own so that things can rest easier on your shoulders, but from this pain you will learn something too. for every tear we shed there's a smile, and sometimes they happen at the same time.

    atlantis callsatlantis calls14 kun oldin
  • I am so thankful I found your channel. I have cried many times just with your advocating. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mother, I am sending love your way. So thankful your doctor supported you, you are worthy

    Larissa eagleLarissa eagle14 kun oldin
  • Hugz

    tycNvktycNvk14 kun oldin